Healthy grief

For them, grief is either something to be processed individually, or something to be left for God, in a process of unburdening oneself to Him. This essay compares and contrasts three models of grief: Judaism’s cycle of grief, grief from Job in the Bible, and Kubler-Ross’s grief cycle. It also compares it to joy, because grief and joy can be seen as two opposite sides of the same coin of human emotion. These grief models are different in how they define and organize the stages of grief, but they are similar in their final goal, which is to help people to come out of their bereavement and accept their new reality. These different models of grief assert that grief is a natural human response to death, although the religion-based models focus on leaving everything to God’s plans, in order to accept the loss. Kubler-Ross (1969) pioneered the studies on grief and bereavement and her findings led her to accentuate that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (Kessler, 2009). They are different responses to loss, and not a linear way of experiencing bereavement (Kessler, 2009). The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, are considered as constituents of a grief model, which help people understand and go through their grieving process. They are tools to help bereaved individuals frame and identify their feelings (Kessler, 2009). … Kubler-Ross provides five stages that help people deal with their loss. Denial refers to not believing that a loved one has truly died, and people feel shock and numb (Kessler, 2009). Denial is important to grieving, because it is a protective mechanism that allows people to take in only what they can process and accept (Kessler, 2009). Anger is another stage of grieving and it can be directed to anyone or anything, including God, the dead, and the loved one (Kessler, 2009). It is an important emotion that helps uncover underlying feelings (Kessler, 2009). Kubler-Ross (1969) believes that anger reconnects people to the world, because from feeling nothing, they feel something (Kessler, 2009). It affirms that something is lost, and so its loss is fully felt (Kessler, 2009). Bargaining pertains to asking what could be changed or done to get back a loved one (Kessler, 2009). Depression is also a common response to death. Kubler-Ross (1969) asks the bereaved to not even consider this as a mental illness, because it is a fitting reply to a great loss (Kessler, 2009). After one or more of these responses is felt, acceptance can be attained. Acceptance does not refer to feeling that everything is alright, but accepting that a loved one is physically lost. It refers to realizing that the present reality is tolerable and that they must go on with their loves (Kessler, 2009). Judaism’s view of guilt has its cycles too. The first stage covers the death and the funeral, where mourners are relieved from their duties and responsibilities (Mallon, 2008, p.97). The second stage concerns mourning after the funeral, where the family has more time to feel their grief, although friends and other kin can visit and

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